Happy Birthday Hayder doo.....

Today is little Haydee babes 14th birthday! Like I always say time goes by way too fast! I wish you could have each year of childhood doubled... so today would be Hayden's 6/7th birthday...but I guess its a lesson to us not to rush each day away and to savor the little tiny bit of time we get to have these beautiful little people in our homes! In 5 birthdays I will be getting ready to send him on a mission.... only 5 birthdays ago I was getting ready to have Canyon and that seems like a couple weeks ago....anyway the tears are a streaming now... so lets just move on to 14 random things you may or may not know about Hayden... 1. He likes his hair long.... he actually spends lots of time on it (even though it does not look that way) he had really curly hair as a baby... I cried when we cut it off knowing it would not stay through his childhood, I figured it would come back with puberty, but I did not know that would come as quick as it did... anyway it came back with a vengeance and he hates it... (I love it curly) He has to use the straightener every day!
2. He was the happiest smiliest baby of all of my babies.... I know your shocked because it takes a lot to make him smile now, but its the truth... we called him smiling charlie!
3. He is Peter Pan and a cynical old man all mixed into one person... he does not want to grow up and never has... when he was little we went to see "My Dog Skip" we left the theater and he was sobbing and sobbing.... I tried to talk to him about how dogs die etc... but he was actually sad because the little boy grew up! Don't ask him what he is going to be when he grows up or who is going to marry etc because he refuses to talk about anything that has to do with him not being a kid!! Oh how I too wish we could freeze you little Hader babes...

4. He is a man/boy of very little words.... mostly all you hear him say is "ok" actually more like mmmk... even as a little guy his first words were full sentences he only says what he needs to and nothing in between.

5. He has a great sense of humor and can tease his dad like nobody else!! We laugh so hard so many times at Tom's expense because Hayden can imitate him perfectly.

6. Babies and really small children love him.... He doesn't try to make them like him like I said he is a man of little words.... but they seem to just like him...

7. He prefers to be alone for the most part and has always been that way.... when he was really little if people came over, even family he would go in his room by himself and stay away from any kind of crowd coming out when everyone was gone.

8. If he does let you into his world he loves you with all his heart....you may not see that but he really does... he has a few people that he seems to have a bond with or that I can tell he really likes.... Autumn, Josh, Brian and Robyn and Grandpa Tom and his Friend Jesse don't anyone else feel left out, I'm not on the list either don't get me wrong I know he loves his family......

9. He is a pretty intolerant person he does not tolerate a lot from people and is fine to be alone if you bother him in anyway... He likes Dogs more then people I think.

10. He is smarter then smart.... as a 3 year old he could hook up computer systems, game systems etc.... he likes Math and is good at it.....

11. He is very afraid of death, words like eternity, together for ever etc FREAK him out yet black is his favorite color!

12. He loves amusement parks, rides etc etc.... we went to Disneyland just the 2 of us 2 years ago and had the best time ever! Even though the first time we went to Disneyland all he said about each ride was "not today huh mommy" we forced him to ride and now he LOVES it all!

13. He loves "Top Ramen Noodles" he eats them everyday.... he also (unlike the rest of his family) loves meat, he loves doughnuts and used to dream of owning his own Krispy Kremes!!

14. He is the best surprise I ever got!! I love him more then he will ever know, he is my first son, he gives me someone to watch play baseball, to listen to the piano being played by, to help me when I am computerly challenged, to teach me great life lessons, to always have around, to help with his younger brother and to make me laugh. I love you Hayden Happy Birthday

The Everyone Wins theory.....

Let me first start by congratulating Madz on making the Herriman High drill team! Way to go!! Maybe my post would be different if she had not (I am not excusing myself from any of this)

With all these tryouts going on I have had a constant question the past few days..... "WHAT Have we done to our children"??? I have had quite a few of my students, this year including my own daughter trying out for drill team or cheer or dance co. etc, and have watched the stress, the tears, the agony and the pure terror they all face with "what if I don't make it" I went one day to watch through the window at Maddie's clinics, I thought I would peek in for second, I had 7 girls in there and wanted to see what their chances were and how I could help them... my daughter would not be happy with me watching she wants to do this all on her own... however I did it anyway.... well do you think I was alone... no way there were tons of mothers all bobbing their heads trying to get a glimpse into the gym, most of them seemed extremely anxious with the same what ifs.... so here is my question and problem with the whole scenario..... What if they don't make it?? We will all live even us parents. I think we all look back at our own childhood and think "I didn't like how I felt when this or that happened" so we try to save our children from any hurt feelings or any disappointment at all. So what we have now is 15 year old girls (and boys) who have no idea with how to deal with the fact that not everyone will make it and not everyone wins!! We have created children/people who always get a trophy whether they win or not... kids who can not even have their name on the board in school for passing off math facts or anything else because someone might feel left out. Really TOO bad, that's how life works we now have children who are beside them self with grief because they didn't make the cut. The other thing I noticed is nothing is ever their fault or their lack of hard work everything is someone Else's fault, they have absolutely no ownership in their own mistakes or shortcomings.... Not everyone is good at everything, not everyone is going to get the job as adults etc so why not teach them a little disappointment and a little bit of try harder and maybe next time your name will be the one with all the stars next to it. With making everything fair and everyone always wins we are not teaching our children to work hard towards something and we are also not preparing them for the real world as adults... (Well maybe with Obama..) When I was a kid your name got on the board if you passed off your facts, you only got trophies when your team won. In fact in dance competitions all kids of the same grade went against each other, their could be 75 kids... and only 4 winners. When I went to drill team tryouts, my mom had nothing to do with it. She wasn't peeking in the window, she wasn't out in the hall after tryouts wanting to talk to the judges because they were obviously not watching her daughter fairly and their must be some mistake (I actually just heard of a mom having this exact conversation). Don't get me wrong my mom was very supportive she came to all my performances was part of the booster club etc, but it wasn't going to be the end of her world if I didn't make it. I think that is another part of the problem of what are we are doing to our kids.... we are so worried about how it will look for us, oh no our kid is not the best what will we do!! I am the worst I actually said to Maddie "do you know how this will look for me if you don't make it" I will regret that coming out of my mouth for the rest of my life.... (in my defense it is because I own my dance studio and the fact that my daughter again had a main part in the Production # stresses me out that other parents will wonder why she always gets them etc even though it was other teachers who helped me decide to let her do it, I am very very hard on her and no one understands the pressure I put on her, the constant critiquing she has to endure). I'm sure the added pressure was not something she needed and really was I worried about her feelings or just how I would look? Honestly both and that is very sad, it should be all about her and not at all about me, it should be how can I help her to make the team or to be able to handle the disappointment if she doesn't... I am failing as her mother I do have to admit and succeeding at being selfish and making everything about me!! I do have one family in my studio who have taught their children hard work and I have watched their daughter not make the team with more grace then I have seen in a long time...
Anyway what do you all think are we teaching our children to be whimps???

Tiff made the comment to me the other day that Canyon looked like he was from the Oriental persuasion. I stated that "I guess his eyes can look squinty" and left it at that. I don't recall teaching my 4-year-old Tae Kwon Do or Karate, and Mr. Miyagi has not been hanging out at our house. But, when I came across this picture all reason went out the window. He must be part asian... don't you agree?

Tom

How do you get your children to clean??

I do wonder myself how people teach their children to work and clean and have ownership in their homes etc.... I have had a couple people ask me how I get my kids to do their work...... Honestly I don't know some days they don't do it, and some kids definitely are better at it, but here is how we do it at our house.... 1. We have a job chart on the refrigerator.... It consists of 4 rotating jobs... The kitchen, the living room, the basement and a ? or clue as Olivia calls it. They each day just have to straighten up these rooms, and their own rooms before they can play etc.... The ? is whatever I decide for the day needs to be done. 3 out of my 4 children I have to bug to do their jobs each day... one (hhhmmOliviahhhmmm) does theirs almost every day without being asked (probably because she is the one who really wants to go play).

This obviously does not keep the house clean (as shown in above picture) and to be honest a few weeks during my really busy season it gets pretty dirty!! So when it needs a good cleaning I write down every job that needs to be done. Wash the bar stools for example would be on one little piece of paper, clean the mirror in the yellow bathroom is another... I get that specific, sometimes I even have them help me figure out exactly which jobs need to be done. Then we count out how many jobs their are and the kids draw out of a bowl or cup you get the picture. Then they have a certain amount of time when the time is up however many of your jobs are done you get to draw for money or prizes.... I used to just put $1 bills and up and they got to take their chance for high or low bills I offer them a set price but they like the gamble of maybe getting a lot more. Last weekend, I didn't have any money (under our new lovely circumstances) so I had to get creative and they actually liked it better. I have some tickets I wrote on the back of them.... some said just "thanks" some said "free sleepover", or "no job day", some said "ice cream" etc you get the idea. All 4 of them got their work done in time for this drawing.....

Sometimes you have to give a little help when its your 4 year old and your chair getting wiped off is still this wet...

How cute is he though vacuuming the hall way...


This is hopefully the first of 20 posts in 20 days, I have a huge back up of pictures and things I need to catch up on........

After a long Winter...

When the sun finally pokes its head out for the first time, its ok to put the sprinkler on the trampoline put your swim suits on and have a good time, even if its still in the 60's.... some of us can stand it no longer and have to Yell bring it on Summer! With all the attitude we can muster up!

Girls Trip, Taylor Swift!!! & Way too much beer!

For Christmas Olivia, Maddie and I got Taylor Swift concert tickets! So the 3 of us took off for Colorado on Wed and came home Thursday it was a shorter trip then originally planned but still the best time ever!! Let me just start by saying she (Taylor) is amazing!! It was one of the very best concerts I have ever been to. Tom and I went to Bon Jovi a few years ago, and I have always said it was the best concert, because you can just tell he loves to perform and loves what he does.... this was the same for Taylor Swift her eyes just twinkled with excitement and you could tell she just loved it, she was so excited that everyone was cheering for her etc... and really to watch my girls who adore her made me actually get teary eyed!!

Liv, is such a crack up.... here she is trying to take her picture in the mirror...

and now all of us dressed in our Taylor shirts ready for the big show!!

The show started out with her in her band outfit from You Belong with me.... and then they ripped her outfit off and she had a sparkly dress on underneath... pretty cool! If we could only figure out how to do that in one of our dances!!

The best part of the concert, where I got teary eyed, is where she actually came out into the crowd in a few spots and performed, and then she took time to hug and talk to people in the crowd...she just seemed so much more down to earth then most stars.

This was her in front of us down on the floor... she didn't come up to our side to greet people, darn it, but it was still the best night!

Ok so before the show during the pre-show... we had this lady in our row who came in and out like 15 times to go get her shots, and cups of beer... she had her daughters with her, and after the 3rd time we got a titch annoyed...... so I started wondering out loud (just to Maddie) who drives all these little girls home after concerts after their mothers have been totally liquored up??? I'll be honest I've never been a drinker so I don't have a clue how much you can drink and still be ok, but the consumption seemed high to me....... so then in the row behind us a guy was squeezing in and had his glass of beer completely filled to rim, Maddie leaned forward like this guy was going to spill his beer on her and like she would actually melt like the witch from the wizard of oz if any landed on her.... I started laughing at her face and her jerk forward reaction to someone just passing by, he didn't spill on her she was a little over reacting but I thought it was pretty funny!! So I told her about the time when I was a teenager and went to a Trappers baseball game and had beer spilled on me from the same guy going up and then again going down the steps..... I guess the guy behind us was listening... and thought he would be really funny, I think he was actually trying to make his girlfriend think he was funny.... so as soon as the concert started he poured his beer all over Maddie and I..... when I say all over I mean all over!!! both our chairs were covered the back of both of our pants were wet, I was standing in a giant puddle on the floor, and Maddie had it dripping down her arm... I was like what the crap just happened, Maddie is beyond mad!!! I look back at my seat and his cup of beer is sitting on my seat. Maddie picks the empty cup up and throws it at the guy! I'm a little nervous at this point, it is just us 3 girls, I can't get in a fight here there is no one that can help us out (my brother lives in Colorado but is out of town this week) anyway Maddie now is sobbing she is so angry!! I tell her don't let it ruin your night, just forget about it and have a good time.... it takes a few songs but she finally gets ok and has a good time.... Well the girl friend did not think it was funny I heard her yell at the boyfriend and then he sat in his chair acting like he was sleeping through the show the rest of the night really what a jack diddle!!! The picture above is Maddie sitting up on her chair because she couldn't put it down.... below is all our beer cover jackets and seat that we couldn't use for the remainder of the night....

And here is stinky Pete and I sharing a chair... we really didn't care the whole thing was a little funny because really how is it I can have encounters almost every where I go??? I was good though I did not even acknowledge that it had happened except to go get napkins and try to clean up as much as I could....I didn't yell at the guy or anything! Don't you love Liv's outfit, she had her Taylor shirt on but wanted to also wear her Taylor Swift dress, she was going to change in the middle of the show like Taylor does, but so many people told her they liked her dress that she left it on the whole time... quite the get up!! She was having so much fun she didn't even really know the beer incident was going on... she just waived her glow stick in the air the whole night!!

Here are the 3 of us, on what I hope is the first of many many girls trips to come in our life time!!

Thanks Tom it was the best present ever and couldn't have come at a better time... (well maybe)... but I needed the stress break!!

Here is a picture of Jack O' doesn't he look super cool!!

After the concert was over, his girlfriend apologized to us, and said that he had a crack in his cup and that she hoped it didn't ruin our night. She was super nice and cute and should not be with such a loser!! She didn't need to apologize he should, and he wouldn't even look at us he was a pouty baby!! I told her it was totally fine, she then grabs Maddie's arm and sincerely apologized and Maddie as mad as she was (you could see in her face she was never going to be ok over it) said it's ok too... she then is the one to say to me he should apologize... You don't mess with her sometimes... really I couldn't believe she threw the cup at him! I love my two daughters more then the world (my boys too) and am so so lucky we have the opportunity to do all the things we get to do together! We love love Taylor Swift too, we are ready to watch another concert already!

For a good laugh ask Maddie about the sun burnt belly in my face too!!

Do you ever feel like Life is just a big game of...

Chutes and Ladders??? and we just landed on 87!..... I sure hope I/we roll a 4.